The Poop Accident

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Some lucky parents can say this has never happened to them. Unfortunately, I’m not one of them. My 7-week-old baby at the time had a “little” accident. You’re already looking at the picture asking “How did this happen!?” Ohhhh, I’m about to tell you! Here I am, changing Blake’s 8th diaper of the morning and she let out a fart. First of all, she farted a lot and sometimes a little poop came out, nothing that couldn’t be saved (other than an exceptional time prior to this incident). This time, she farted, nothing… La la la, I’m doing my diaper change routine, holding her legs up in the air and then *squirttttttt!!!* the longest shart of shit go flying towards the wall and splashes everything around it (including in my mouth… no, I don’t want to talk about it). It was awful! It reminded me of a water gun under pressure. I had always wondered how her diaper got so full… that moment solved the mystery. Not only did her shit hit the walls, it hit the picture canvas on the wall stripping the ink off when I wiped it. Her shit dripped down behind the bookshelf to the baseboards and over extension cords. It was a mess! I quickly finished her diaper change and put her in the bassinet.

I tried to give the wall a good wipe with Lysol cleaning wipes and they didn’t do much. If you look closely at the second photo, you can see wiping it didn’t completely remove the shit. Did I mention we painted our walls on Christmas Eve? No? Well, we did. This accident took place three months later on March 29th. These walls were still fresh and new to me. Suddenly, Miles walks in (lucky me!) and he was able to help me clean the walls with a scrubby and combination of Lysol and dish soap.

Two days later, while Blake’s diaper was off during diaper change, without any warning signs or change in facial expression— not even a fart, Blake pees and it goes in my hair. It was an interesting week. In the future, if you ever get shit on your hands while changing a baby, just remember, it could be on your walls instead.